“I Don’t Have Time” (and Other Things Fear Says When It’s Wearing a Disguise)

I’ll do it tomorrow.
I’m too tired.
I don’t have the money.
What will people think?
I have kids.
You don’t know what it’s like.
People won’t take me seriously.

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Sound familiar? Me too. I’ve said every one of these.

But as I read and explore more about creativity and ideation, here’s what I’ve come to know: sometimes fear masks itself as an excuse. It’s a lot easier to come up with a reason we can’t do something than to admit we’re afraid of it, or afraid of messing up while we try.

What fear is really asking us to give up

If we want to bring more play and creativity into our lives, we’re going to have to set down a few fears:

• Creating art? We’ll have to put off the fear of “messing up.”

• Reading more? The fear of “wasting time.”

• Singing in the car? The fear that someone hears how bad we sound.

• Writing letters to friends? The fear of not getting a note back.

• Planting a garden? The fear that the peppers won’t make.

Elizabeth Gilbert names fear as one of the main reasons people don’t pursue creative work, and she points out that perfectionism doesn’t just keep people from finishing. It often keeps them from beginning.

And sometimes the fear is about what other people will think. While writing my second book, I got called in for a sit-down conversation at work about being perceived as “too playful.” As in, not rigorous. Yes, you read that correctly. My response? I politely invited them to come see me teach. But I’d be lying if I said that conversation didn’t make me second-guess myself for a while.

Being a playful grownup is risky.

A four-step path out of excuses

1. Recognize. Admit when it’s an excuse. Some hurdles are real. Many are fear, low motivation, or worry about other people’s opinions. Instead of telling ourselves why change can’t happen, ask how it can.

2. Visualize. Start dreaming. What does your ideal week look like? What would you make, try, or play? Even daydreaming about the change gives us a little rush that can get us moving.

3. Jazzercise. Now get movin’! Turn the dream into an action plan. The biggest thing standing in most of our way isn’t money or time. It’s inaction. (And yes, the Jazzercise reference is intentional. Those people know how to move.)

4. Pasteurize. Like milk. Once you’ve debunked an excuse, don’t get too comfy, because new ones creep back in. We protect our progress by cultivating a circle of support. Ask yourself: Does my circle encourage my ideas or squash them? Are they dreaming with me?

Meryl Streep’s has sage advice that serves as a shortcut through all four: “Start by starting.” Don’t wait until you’re ready, because you won’t ever be. Don’t wait until you know everything, because you won’t ever know it all.

Try this

• Name your top excuse. Write it down. Then rewrite it as a question: “I don’t have time” becomes “How can I make fifteen minutes?”

• Run a quick time audit. Does your current schedule invite you to laugh, move, or create? If not, find one small slot to swap.

• Teachers: listen for the excuses students make before a hard task. “I’m bad at this” is often “I’m scared to be wrong.” Name it gently, then make the first step smaller.

• Tell one person. Share your plan with someone who will cheer the loudest. That’s pasteurizing.

Sources

Gilbert, E. (2015). Big magic: Creative living beyond fear. Riverhead Books.

Jones, J. P., & Dearybury, J. (2022). The playful life.Wiley Jossey Bass.

Do you need additional support for incorporating play in your life?

1. Follow my quest for the playful life: Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn

2. Consider buying my books on Bookshop.org, Barnes & Noble, Target, or Amazon. I appreciate the love.

3. Read the free content on my website.

4. Buy some PLAY-swag.